kansas city sucks.

[staubio]

I'm kind of in the same boat, except I'm single after being in a relationship for 18 mos and I really don't know what to do.  The dating scene in KC is absolutely horrible....I've pretty much given up.  It's especially sucks that most of my friends are married/in serious relationships and I'm freaking 36!!!!!!  I'm doomed  Now I just need the housing market to rebound, sell my house this Spring and move to Denver or Austin and all will be good. 

What exactly makes a dating scene good? More supply? You still have to go out and meet them!

[LenexatoKCMO]

that's the thing, i'm not a scenester.  i'm not even plugged in to whatever "scene" exists here already.  due to the lack of youth-oriented music culture that appeals to me, we end up at restaurants most of the time.

I think this is indicative of the midwest in general - there aren't a lot of great nightlife places for the non-alchoholic, mature adult.  So many people wind up married w/ children by ~25 that folks under 25 wind up dominating the nightlife scene to the point where us "old timers" can really feel like a bump on a log amongst the early twenties, high testosterone, immature hook up scene.  There are a few places that are aimed more at folks our parent's age, empty nesters and the like and there are certainly places where you can find the drunks.  But, even places that might attempt to offer the sort of low key, yet entertaining atmosphere that folks past that oat-sowing stage of their life are likely to enjoy usually wind up getting overrun because there just aren't very many people to offset it.  What percentage of midwesterners between the ages of 25-45 isn't sitting at home, married and changing diapers?

Maybe I am bitching about my own rants - but to me this is the biggest shortcoming in KC nightlife - not enough places where I don't feel like I am stuck in some college age hook up scene.  

[WSPanic]

I think people tend to forget about some of the hidden gems that are here - because they're not really popular. The 8th Street Taproom is a Lawrence gem - but outside of it being in Lawrence - what does it offer that bars here don't? KC bars don't "feel good to hang out in"? I'm not sure what that even means.

Some places I like to spend time - and are comfortable to hang out in:

Dave's Stagecoach (smells funny sometimes, but best jukebox in the entire metro - including Lawrence).

Gilhooly's - good atmosphere, pool, relatively lame music

Twin City Tavern - Neighborhood dive bar with very good bar food (and great burgers)

McCoy's - Sunday/Monday food/drink specials are excellent. Sit and drink a $7 pitcher of beer - burgers/pizza.

Tower Tavern - good food, good tvs, good music - like the atmosphere

Chez Charlie - Great Friday night DJ spinning old soul records

I could name plenty more. In my mind - any combination of the above would be good places to hang out in. You can find people talk to, play pool, eat, watch a game. They just aren't in Lawrence.

[KC_JAYHAWK]

What exactly makes a dating scene good? More supply? You still have to go out and meet them!

Definitely more supply in my age range (30-38).  Not that I have a problem meeting girls, it's just the options out there aren't that great for that age range.  Yeah, I can always find a 24 year old and have fun, but that's not what I'm looking for at this stage in my life.

[kcmetro]

Sounds like you're just getting old, chriz.  Embrace it with open arms.  Rent a couple movies and order a pizza.  Better than going out to bars and being surrounded by 22 year olds.

[trailerkid]

not really, but my fiancee and i have been talking a lot recently about how boring kansas city is.  we rack our brains trying to think of somewhere good to hang out - good food and/or good atmosphere and/or good music.  we don't even go out that much, but when we feel like it, we can't think of anywhere to go.  even places we tend to like aren't really cutting it.  

kc has plenty of half-assed "nice" places and more than enough VFW-hall esque dives, but there are woefully few places that just feel "good" to hang out in.  as far as i can tell, no place plays good music.  we've found ourselves wanting to go to lawrence (for shame!) just to go to a place with a nice feeling.  we spent three hours in a nearly-empty 8th st. taproom on a monday night just because it felt good to be in a lived-in place with some nice records being played (by the bartender no less).  

these feelings come and go, but we're definitely in a burned-out, "kc sucks" mentality right now.  the weather isn't helping.

wow. i think lawrence is pretty depressing and beyond vanilla. there are the same people in the same bars playing the same music since 2001-- my idea of hell would be organizing around that lifestyle. do you think you'd be happy living in columbia? i doubt it.

do you ever go to...
the brick
mutual musicians
czar bar
rhythm lounge
the pistol/foundation
riot room
the phoenix 
jardine's
blue room
record bar
balanca's
gusto lounge/top shelf
davey's uptown

there's a crazy amount of stuff going on daily in KC if you look at all the museums, libraries, colleges, galleries, theatres, bars, etc. I find what KC has to offer pretty exciting and refreshing. I'm not sure you're really tuned into all of it or maybe just want a constant favorite bar? Use stuff like gowalla, yelp, pitch, etc. to find places to go if you're stumped.

Are you sure the weather isn't having some effect?

[trailerkid]

what i would like to see more of are bars and restaurants on the sort of yj's / la esquina / pistol axis.  i'd even settle for a replay lounge / 8th st taproom sort of thing.  also, restaurants like the vinegar hill house in brooklyn - top tier ingredients/preparation in a rustic/hip environment.  at this point i'll take some dude in a knit cap playing some obscure funk and krautrock on a turntable at dave's stagecoach or something.  good music and a comfy environment - not 1990s chic, chicken wraps, and satellite radio playing the shins.

it sounds like you just want brooklyn. NOT authentic.

[DaveKCMO]

this is why we haven't pulled up stakes and absconded to the west coast or wherever.  it always comes back to, "well, ____ would be a much cooler place, with a lot more going on, but KC is cheaper and easier and we'll be having kids soon so we may as well just stick it out here."

omg breeder guilt. good kids are reared in all corners of this country. if you think you're unhappy or restless now, by all means wait until you're really tied down.

[mean]

What's wrong with actual live music? KC has a wealth of great rock, indie, punk, pop, folk, jazz, blues, and country bands... but nobody goes to see them, apparently because they aren't in Pitchfork or NME or whatever.

[grovester]

i hate to show this kind of age, but I have a serious problem with show times, especially during the week.  The record bar is ridiculous, midnite showtimes?  Really?  More shows at 8 please.

[mean]

Can't disagree with that. Starting shows at 11 or 12 is kind of silly. Not sure why that is the standard.

[midtown]

i hate to show this kind of age, but I have a serious problem with show times, especially during the week.  The record bar is ridiculous, midnite showtimes?  Really?  More shows at 8 please.

I was pretty openly mocked somewhere else for posting a similar sentiment... but hey, I totally agree with you.

[mean]

Perhaps ironically, places like Davey's DO have matinee shows in the 8-9pm timeframe. They're just reserved for touring bands with a big draw. Local bands, regardless of how good they are, get stuck playing between 11 and 2 because nobody cares or comes to see them. It's not that people here don't have taste in music, it's that KC doesn't believe in its own scene, particularly the indie rock, pop, and punk scenes. It's like people who live here assume that if it's from KC it is crap, but man, if it's from Arkansas or Nebraska it is AWESOME! I don't get it.

[aknowledgeableperson]

these feelings come and go, but we're definitely in a burned-out, "kc sucks" mentality right now.  the weather isn't helping.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill.  That is until you get there and then you wonder if the grass is greener on the next hill.

It's not just the weather, it is also the end of the holidays.


One thing for the future, get into a weekly activity.  For me, when I was younger there was bowling in a league one night a week for at least 35 weeks of the year.  Then in the summer was softball.  When older also played some indoor soccer.  Not only helped with the socializing but kept the competitive juices flowing.

[LindseyLohan]

This is an interesting bit... if you are planning to begin a family, your bar scene will become nonexistent

Yes, the bar scene will stop during the pregnancy. The child does not even have to be born yet. After the child is born, moving to Raytown, MO will tempt you. Then you will find yourself venturing into FunkyTown one night because you have a sitter and don't really know what else to do after dinner and you just wanted to see what goes on in there. Then you realize it's the exact fucked up mess of people you thought it would be. Then you will promise to never go back, but you probably will...

[im2kull]

..what does it offer that bars here don't? KC bars don't "feel good to hang out in"? I'm not sure what that even means.

I think what it means is that a lot of us guys would like a simple, uncomplicated bar, with good music (Be it live or not) good taste, and a touch of hospitality.  Not some overhyped, sensationalist, cookie cutter style bar that's commercially viable, but lacks any sense of establishment and preservation.  You want somewhere that's going to fight for your business, to make you feel at home...rather than some place that advertises on the radio, has no purpose other than getting people drunk, and charging door fees, all in the name of making a profit at your expense.

At least that's how I'm assuming Chriz feels.  I'd like to see a few less chains and conglomerates, and a few more mom & pop style bars.  Somewhere that you can sit down, have a drink or two, and have a good time.  Nooks in the wall, or not...just somewhere that has a home grown feel, taste, & attitude.

[AJoD]

What's wrong with actual live music? KC has a wealth of great rock, indie, punk, pop, folk, jazz, blues, and country bands... but nobody goes to see them, apparently because they aren't in Pitchfork or NME or whatever.

Speaking only for myself, since I asked about the distinction, nothing at all, just a different kind of experience.  I really enjoy live music and wish that I had more chance to get out and experience the local scene, though interestingly, I will admit that has actually been one thing that has discernibly lowered on the priority list having kids in the house.  My wife and I are more inclined to go someplace conducive to conversation--we also go to the movies way less than we did pre-kids.

The two aren't always mutually exclusive--there was a nice jazz group playing at R Bar recently, a good soundtrack while sitting at a booth in back.  Tater and the Gravy Train down at Harry's CC fit the bill too.  I'm sure there are loads.

[chingon]

I have big long fits of kc sucks, punctuated by short, ecstatic (and frankly inexplicable) rapturous weeks when I really get it.

Strangely, (or not, given my proclivities) one of the things I like best about KC is its bars. For better, or worse, this is a drinker's town. It is the primary form of entertainment for young and old alike here, and I think the wealth of bars we have is a real stong suit in a town that kind of specializes in mediocrity. Especially our low key, drink drinkers bars. Places people don't go to hook up in, places people go to get drunk in. I dig that. Baker's/Twin Cities/Chez Charlie's (pre-art student days, RIP) type bars. I was at the Tap Room in Lawrence recently, a bar I dearly loved when I lived there, and I was reminded how FUCKING TERRIBLE the music there is and how terrible its always been. What sounded like the exact same bullshit lo-fi records, the same onanistic free jazz record and the same (admittedly awesome) obsure-but-accessibe (4/4 time) northern soul record played as the last time I was there, ca. 2005. Its one of those things my brain had sort of glossed over.

Reading your post, I was sort of struck by the fact that bad music is almost a feature of a good bar to me. It keeps out the people who ruin good bars. I can't imagine my life in bars without it. The Grassroots on the Lower East Side had some of the worst early-stage Williamsburg-revival music the last time I was there, my favorite bar in Philly - whose name I've never known - has had buttrock or progrock blasting unironically from its jukebox the 4 times in my life I've been there (last time, ELO, Rush and other unidentifiable aural abortions played for the five hours I spent there). But I once heard the barmaid begin a sentence with the phrase "Irregardless of no matter what..." They don't make music that good.

Baker's is my favorite bar in this city and I cringe every time some 30-something Waldo mom sidles up to it and begins laying down her favorite tracks while the babysitter lays her kids to sleep 3 blocks away. But really, bad music is like part of the other bad bar goodness to me, like the dust-covered kitschy knick-knacks or the little roll in the carpet that people trip over coming in or the bartender who opens your beerbottle with his prosthetic hook-hand (actually seen it).

But maybe I've just lived here too long and have to forgive this city and its little peccadillos in order to forgive myself for never leaving. A philosophy, by the by, that I would suggest is the better part lasting love, between people and between them and their places.

[GRID]

I can sympathize.  I get the same way.  If you can't move, just travel when it gets bad.  Go somewhere exciting and not only will you rejuvenate yourself, you'll likely appreciate KC more upon your return - if only for it's lack of real traffic!

That's usually when I I'm at my worst, after spending a week or two in other towns and coming back to KC was always somewhat depressing.  I would often vent on this forum.

KC is alright though.  There are sure a lot of good things about the city.  I think if you stay anyplace too long, you will get bored and tired of it.  I'm enjoying my stay out east and will be up and down the coast all summer long, but I'm already thinking of where I might be in five years.  Denver, Seattle, San Fran?  Will probably eventually come back to KC though.  I already miss the place.  The city may not be quite as active as some towns, but it's so easy to take advantage of what the city does offer compared to bigger, more expensive and more congested towns.

[KCPowercat]

Seriously, I don't think I could handle a much more "active" city, Monday I'm glad to get to work so I can rest for a bit....any place is what you make it.