Rules For Newbies (And Some Regulars)

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Tosspot
Mark Twain Tower
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Rules For Newbies (And Some Regulars)

Post by Tosspot »

I found this on another forum, and have tailored it to go here:

Welcome to KC Development and Skyscrapers! Planning on becoming a regular? Well, you can't go wrong here if you follow these simple rules of etiquette and conduct. Even some regulars need to brush up on these!

1. Make your posts as difficult to read as possible. Here at KCskyscrapers.com we eschew the English language and all other recognizable forms of communication.

2. Disregard the forum categories. Restaurant and Bar discussions go in New Stadiums discussion, idle chitchat belongs in the Downtown forum, Photos go in Sports, etc... The Bar has no purpose; it's just there to distract the foolish masses.

Now you know.

3. Conceal the point of your post as best you can so that it is not obvious even upon intense scrutiny. Being intellectuals, we enjoy a challenge.

4. Personal attacks, both subtle and direct, are a perfectly valid form of logical argument. Ad hominem? Sorry, I don't swing that way.

5. Is there a poster who just annoys the ever-living heck out of you? If so, you are required by the rules to attempt a character assassination using the most spurious grounds possible.

6. Dispose of spelling, punctuation and grammar. These are the lofty tools of the intellectual bourgeoise and the bane of the decent common folk. Each and every one of your posts should be indistinguishable from the output of the German "Enigma" encoder.

7. Insert as many exclamation points into your first post as possible. All extraneous punctuation marks will be tallied and added to your final score.

8. Do not, under any circumstances, answer questions directly. Down that road lies ruin.

9. Shift the point as often as possible. The best stance on an issue is the one which evades all counterarguments.

10. Never allow your opinions to be seperated from your character. If someone disagrees with you, they are your bitter enemy. Hound their footsteps to the very gates of Hell.

11. Never change your stance. Your opinions, thoughts and musings are all perfect and there is no need to ever reconsider their merit.

12. Never cite sources. If you do, ignore any that conflict with your preconceptions. If they think differently than you, they must be wrong.

13. Established knowledge is arbitrary and the product of biased fools who wish to deny the truth. Do not bother to back up your position when challenging that knowledge; such actions are unnecessary. The truth of your ideas is self-evident and should need no further explanation.

14. Turn every debate into an argument about how put upon and reviled you are here. Complain ceaselessly and point fingers at anyone who so much as respectfully disagrees with you. Then, when you have thoroughly exposed your distaste for them and proven their ravening hatred for you, continue to post here, secure in the knowledge that you are a martyr.

15. Try to have only a hazy idea of what you're talking about. Clarity of thought leads to troublesome thinking.

16. The standards of intellectual honesty are insidious manipulation devices created by the Bavarian Illuminati to control all human thought. Fight the power!

17. Don't understand something? It must be gibberish. Disregard any further information from posters who say such things.

18. When all else fails, paint your opponent as a demonic threat to society at large, or at least an unpleasant being. Try to keep a straight face while doing so.

19. Humor, sarcasm and irony are forbidden at KCskyscrapers.com and you may safely assume that all statements are completely and one hundred percent serious.

20. Re-hash the same arguments and points over and over again, no matter how many times they are refuted. The correct viewpoint is the one that remains when all other participants have given up and gone on to more productive avenues of inquiry.

21. Keep your stereo at full blast for 11 hours a day, starting at sundown. Much like a bat, I am nocturnal and rest during the brightest part of the day. Oh, wait--this is from the list of Rules for Next-Door Neighbors.

22. Rather than actually admitting you cannot refute someone's argument, parody it while missing the point by as wide a margin as possible. In this way may the noble pursuit of understanding be furthered.

23. Fnord.

24. See this smiley?

:lol:

This is what is known in philosophical circles as a "Wild Card." When you do not possess sufficient information or understanding to refute an argument, deploy it and the opponent is magically wrong!

25. It cannot be emphasized enough: never back down. If you reconsider your stance for even a moment then you are un-American and have allowed the terrorists to win.
Image

photoblog. 

until further notice i will routinely point out spelling errors committed by any here whom i frequently do battle wit
Gorlock
Strip mall
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Rules For Newbies (And Some Regulars)

Post by Gorlock »

This is great!!!!!!! :D
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