Suburban vs Urban

[schugg]

Wow! So much for having a little sense of humor. You guys can let the claws retract now. I assume all that venom is aimed at me.

If you can find someone exactly like you in every way to marry, have at it. And good luck finding that person. FOR ME... repeat FOR ME, I'd never want to be married to someone exactly like me. How boring. Marriage IS a compromise. That doesn't mean bad things. And I never said that compromise included being FORCED to move to the suburbs. For some people that may happen but that's their business. And for you to assume that people like me are wife whipped into a lifestyle, well, that's every bit as insulting as anything I ever typed. My wife is an amazing woman. You'd be lucky to find someone like her. As far as schools go I never said to move to attend the BV schools. I just said the were damn good schools. PERIOD.

I seriously hope that the public schools in KC improve. I pay enough taxes for those schools after all.. And, I hope you guys have plenty of options in the private sector if that's the direction you take .

Tosspot, thanks for laughing, which was the intent of my post. I'm confident that you will make all your dreams come true. It's very obvious to me that you live with a passion that will accommodate that. Plus you still have a sense of humor.

I found someone like me, and our marriage is not boring.   she is cool as hell. and yes i was lucky to find her.  she even agreed with me 100%  to stay in the URBAN CORE. we love the vibrancy, it is very life giving...........top that

[bahua]

One time, I saw a cat get hit by a car!

[schugg]

that was me driving,  another part of living in the urban core.

[bahua]

I've never been a big fan of cats. I was 12 years old, and on my paper route when I saw it happen. I actually had to choke back the urge to laugh.

[Boognish]

I've never been a big fan of cats. I was 12 years old, and on my paper route when I saw it happen. I actually had to choke back the urge to laugh.

That's horrible. My wife would strangle you.

[Cyclops]

OK, well stick me in the hated bin with some of the other contributors here. By the way, the key word on the wife comment was 'exactly'. Yes, I have plenty in common with my wife too. My original post was not really intended to piss everyone off, but I guess it did. So be it.

Well, time to back to destroying the very fabric of American life. You all take care.

Cyclops..... gone.

[ozone84]

One time, I saw a cat get hit by a car!

Usually only Shinatoo makes me laugh out loud on this forum.  Congrats buhau, you're now in elite company. 

[bbqboy]

Stick me in the rural camp, with a 12 & 14 year old.

[staubio]

OK, well stick me in the hated bin with some of the other contributors here. By the way, the key word on the wife comment was 'exactly'. Yes, I have plenty in common with my wife too. My original post was not really intended to piss everyone off, but I guess it did. So be it.

Well, time to back to destroying the very fabric of American life. You all take care.

Cyclops..... gone.

Now now, don't throw a tantrum.

I share mean's sentiments.  It is insulting to suggest that everybody else just doesn't understand what relationships are like, and it is shortsighted to suggest that such a difference is a necessary one.  There are certain things that are important to a person that they wouldn't compromise for a mate.  I don't agree with urban sprawl, so I wouldn't marry someone that did. 

My problem wasn't so much regarding your decision to live there but your offloading of the responsibility for that decision.  Just go ahead and own it and stop talking down to those of us that feel differently as if we simply don't understand your supposed plight.

[DanCa]

Good posts GRID and Cyclops.  How so very true.  Wife and kids sure change the priorities in your life.  It is good to have a perspective of you two when it comes to comparing what a family wants and needs as compared to a young single guy (or gal).

I have said before more power to those who choose to live urban with a family but at least for now that is a minority. 

That's why cities need the 'mos.  We fix up rundown houses, spend a lot at restaurants and don't normally produce diaper fillers.

[mean]

My original post was not really intended to piss everyone off, but I guess it did. So be it.

Not pissed, myself. Personally, I think you've contributed valuble insight to the dialogue, even if we don't see eye-to-eye.

[GRID]

"Why not the Northland where, as nota says, you can at least see the skyline from much of it and access the city much quicker?  Why not Lee's Summit where there are lakes and such, I mean if you are gonna live in the burbs, may as well live in burbs with a more vibrant outdoor and recreational scene.  I assume you work out there or your wife does?"
exactly right, both me and my wife work in JoCo and she grew up there and was going to KU at the time that we got married...so here I am...I have friends and family in lee's summit and the northland and would actually prefer both of those to Joco

Cyclops, I have no doubt that if/when my wife and I have a child my perspective will change.  This is a good point.  I also realize that the BV schools are excellent but would prefer something a little more diverse... I am hoping that if/when we have to consider school, we will be able to afford private school or will have a good option in KCMO...

That's what I figured.  Thanks for the reply.  Good luck in moving back to the city or where ever you end up.

[aknowledgeableperson]

And I take a small amount of offense at the implication that once I "grow up" my ideology will change, because I obviously just haven't thought it through completely; or that my convictions are so weak that I would abandon them and run off to JoCo just as soon as I find a woman (since, obviously, all women want a big house in the suburbs, women are all the same) as has been sort-of implied by some--notably not you, but my original comments weren't directed at anybody in particular.

There are many radicals of the 60's who are very mainstream now, and probably some are conservative.  Not saying you will change but one is affected by one's life experiences and who knows what you will experience in the years to come.  That does not mean that you haven't grown up, you haven't thought it out, or your current convictions are weak, it just means your life evolves.

Who knows.  You just might meet a trust fund blonde at a First Friday event, you both fall in love, and 30 years from now we can find you living in a mansion in Hallbrooke, with four or five kids, and a grandkid or two on the way.

[mean]

There are many radicals of the 60's who are very mainstream now, and probably some are conservative.  Not saying you will change but one is affected by one's life experiences and who knows what you will experience in the years to come.  That does not mean that you haven't grown up, you haven't thought it out, or your current convictions are weak, it just means your life evolves.

Who knows.  You just might meet a trust fund blonde at a First Friday event, you both fall in love, and 30 years from now we can find you living in a mansion in Hallbrooke, with four or five kids, and a grandkid or two on the way.

I agree on some level. There are indeed many former radicals who are now either less radical or flat out anti-radical; but I would argue that the overwhelming majority of those people had weak "convictions of convenience" that they abandoned as soon as they became inconvenient. There was of course a huge "hippie" movement at the time, but how many of those people were doing it because it was cool instead of because they truly held deep convictions about how the world should be? I think the answer is clear when you look at how many of them turned out. One can argue that they simply "evolved" and I wouldn't protest too much, but I do believe that the "evolution" occured mainly because they hadn't fully thought through the implications of their professed beliefs, and therefore had to change them when the implications became unpleasant or inconvenient. I have no intention of making that mistake, as I feel I fully understand the implications of what I profess (although, I also admit the remote possibility that I'm totally wrong!)

Anyway, if I met a trust fund blonde and fell in love, my wife of over 8 years would probably kick my butt!

[aknowledgeableperson]

Divorce does happen.  But I hope it doesn't happen in your case.

Your argument is at least true to you.  I happen to disagree. If one does not change than one would have to assume that one is not affected by life's experiences.
A person could have a strong military background and very patriotic but suffer a war injury and become a pacifist.
A person could be dead against the death penalty but have a loved one killed and then become a supporter of the death penalty.
Their changes were not mistakes, unless of course you previously agreed with them.  Their evolution is not a matter of right or wrong, just an acknowledgement that part of what we are is an accumulation of what we have experienced.

[mean]

I agree that if one does not experience change in their life, then there is something wrong; but I also feel that when one bases their conclusions on reason and logic, that unless the underlying facts change, their conclusions--if they are logical and reasonable--should not change regardless of their experiences.

[Tosspot]

I agree that if one does not experience change in their life, then there is something wrong; but I also feel that when one bases their conclusions on reason and logic, that unless the underlying facts change, their conclusions--if they are logical and reasonable--should not change regardless of their experiences.

I agree with your premises Mean, however we humans are often not logical or reasonable. Hence, emotional turmoil clouds our outlook.

[mean]

True, true.

[nota]

It goes in stages.

Our youngest son, now 33 was a SCREAMING liberal in HS. SCREAMING!!! Along with all his buds. They were all pretty idealistic and knew they could and would do a lot of things differently. He voted for Bill Clinton in his first Presidential election. Became somewhat disillusioned and didn't vote for the second term.

Of course he hates GWB and ALGORE as well.

He moved to DT Indianapolis and lived in a highrise apartment there for several years. Transferred to Fort Wayne and lived in a high rise apt there too. During this several years, he worked for one of the top accounting firms in the country. (still does) When he lived in these cities, he was a regular city guy like you guys. Walked everywhere, rode his bike, joined the Art Museums, did civic projects, etc. All the time he was growing up and getting older-views were developing and redeveloping.

He married a dyed in the wool farm girl when he was 30. Then they rented a historic home in the city of Fort Wayne. When he was 31, they bought their first home-a real fixerupper in the city of Fort Wayne. Then they had their first baby. She is 6 months old now. (PERFECT of course ) They are fixing up their home as they have money, he is a bigwig in their nabe assn. They say they are sending the kids to private school.

Evolving-that's what life is. For everyone. Those who resist all change are just boring boring people and will not get the full experience of life. Not all change is good of course, but you never know till you try it. My little farm/burb boy loves his city life. He loves our 'burb life too, but right now, he is a city guy.

[DanCa]

I swore to my parents that I was going to be a Republican when I could vote - mainly out of spite and because I was teased when they put a Jimmy Carter sign in our front yard in '76.  Well, I evolved beyond my 3rd grade mindset and never did become a Republican.  Oddly, I'm a Democrat but for many different reason than my parents'.