First - please don't take this as criticism in any way because it's not. Not at all.kcmetro wrote: And you're right, if my family/friends weren't in this area, then I wouldn't be living here. I'd have moved as soon as I got out of college. But that is the biggest influence I have with regards to where I live. No sense in moving to the coast if I don't know anyone there. Would be kinda pointless. For me, it's the relationships that make a place special
Just a different view. We've lived in several different places over our 38 years of marriage and we've made lifelong friends wherever we've gone. Not always family where we have lived but we've always made the effort to go home for visits 4 or 5 times a year.
Our kids benefited from moving out of Emporia, Kansas as pre-teens. They too have made lifelong friends. We stayed in Indiana till they were grown and done with college and started families. We were quite starry eyed when we left and didn't much realize we were leaving family and friends. And we all went back to Emporia twice a year and family visited us as well. All in all, not too bad at all. For a few years there in that time, whenever I stepped out of the airport onto the pavement, I felt like someone had died because it seemed we came home to a lot of funerals.
Hubby was offered a promotion in STL and he took it. My claw marks are still visible along I70 as I was taken away from my kids and grandkids. No matter how many times you visit each other in another city, it's not the same as being there every day and seeing their games and school events, etc. We were always the ones to travel on holidays because of all the jobs and other issues to be worked on for all the family to come to us. Grandkids always spent a week or two with us in the summer without parents. That was fun and cool.
While in STL, we made many friends, many of whom are still friends and we visit with, correspond with, etc. In the end, we had a great life in STL and I'm glad we moved.
Doesn't make it any easier when you miss the grandkids, but that answering machine message with a grandchild screaming into the phone "GRANDMA!!GRANDMA!!!-I GOT A FULL RIDE TO IU!!!" is pretty heartwarming. Or the webcam of baby's first steps, etc.
Being transferred to KC, we were apprehensive because it was further from kids and grandkids. It was also closer to our one surviving parent. So, a mixed bag. But we made a life, kept close to our family, went back to Indiana often to visit. We were actually present in Fort Wayne at the births of two grandchildren. (do you know that Mom can go into labor, call you and you can be in Fort Wayne in time to hear the baby's first cries?)
Our life in KC was nothing short of wonderful. Made more lifelong friends, had more activities than we could possibly do, did more volunteer work than I could possibly do-all of which wove a rich rich fabric of life that I wouldnt' exchange for anything.
Now we are back in Indiana-hubby retired this week-we moved back here last October. We're still in the settling in and making a life stages, but we will love it here again as we loved wherever we have lived. It's good to be back with family, old friends, my old favorite hairdresser, etc. Yes, you can go back.
There is pain involved leaving family and friends. Nothing quite like crying in the driveway full of crying friends or family as the doors are closed on the moving van. Nothing like missing the house you put so much blood sweat and tears into. Nothing like hearing from friends about activities you are no longer part of. Not being there for a grandson winning the big game or granddaughter's dance recital isn't fun but sitting with them when you visit and having them show pix and explain the winning catch or the costumes is good too.
It's not for everyone for sure, but we feel like because we had that courage to make that very first move back in 1980, our family has become far far richer because of our moving. Lots of issues both ways, but bottom line is that we would do it again. Actually, we are up for one more move however, it may or may not be in the cards.
Someone said that you get results in proportion to the effort you put into it and that is true. If you want to move and make the effort to make sure it is successful, it will be successful. In this computer age and with free long distance and webcams and decent travel opportunities, you are able to still maintain ties with loved ones. However, as I said, it's not for everyone and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
